Taylor Swift is so right about you.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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