she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
