My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
