there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
