Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
