Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
