I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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