I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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