exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
