no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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