i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
