hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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