So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
