At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
