Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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