Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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