no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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