He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
