Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
