it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
