Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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