Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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