i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Is it because I queefed?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize