Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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