question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
