...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
