He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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