i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i need to put some appletini on your dick
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
