I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
