I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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