Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
