im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize