He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize