gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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