Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She announced her abortion via fbk
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
