I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
