the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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