just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
this just has baby written all over it
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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