I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
honey bunches of taint.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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