Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i will never coherently bang her
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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