dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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