we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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