I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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