I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
