You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
