I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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