I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Randomize
