I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
