i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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