I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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