she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize