can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Randomize
