I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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