I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize