it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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