Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
