Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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