Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
