he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
