the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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