haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
