shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
well you can't waste a boner
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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