I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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