Whoa Z and x make the same sound
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
