is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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