I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
