YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So squirting runs in the family.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
