The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Terrible idea I love it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
